人生旅程

世上也许有事情 我们不希望发生,
只能夠接受
我们不希望去了解,
但是只能夠去学习
还有 即使有多不愿意他离开的人
但又不能不放手
世事往往事与愿违
所以许愿这回事只是一些彷徨的人
一种 自我安慰的方法
可事人总不能只相信自己
走了多年起起伏伏
弯弯曲曲的人生旅程
中途跌過, 痛過
令我们体会到无论你自以为有多堅強
又或者是一個強者
也总会有无助的人刻
这个时候有人会选择向他们相信的神求助
而我会选择相信 当坏事坏到最后 好事就会來臨来临
所以今晚我选择续断如常生活
因为我相信美好的事总会出现
只是我们沒办法预知
它会以什么形式以及什么时候发生.

hate GREAT PRETENDER

realised that what i hate most is "GREAT PRETENDER" thou i dislike Taurus's gf so much, but doesn't mean that m agree with what Taurus had done to her... everyone have NO RIGHT TO ABUSE THE TRUST, FAITH N LOVE TO THEIR FAMILY, LOVE ONES N FRIENDS... THESE PEOPLE ARE SIMPLY PATHETIC, acting like  CASANOVA is completely STUPID! AGAIN, HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE ANYONE... m feeling upset, world seem getting darker each day, people like Taurus whom m trusted so much before, had become a stranger to m... is this her real personality? where's the Taurus whom i knew in day one? was shocked n pissed to know more about her. m sick n tired of her Casanova's story- fling around or cheated by gals. it often takes two hands to clap. as her good pal, m hope she will meet her TRUE LOVE one day :)

 

 

perth in 2011

weather - cooling

foodies - seafood is fresh, roasted duck make m drooL, crepe is beautiful, veg n fruits are sweet.

shopping - wonderful, but au currency is rather high this time... "shop lesser"

 

m really miss foodies at "lok fook", esp they dessert : thick n rich red bean soup and mango pudding r lovely, which u will regret if u miss it! roasted duck at " the good one" is just so tender n yummyyyyyy. eason chan "Duo concert" was AWESOME, CANT WAIT FOR HIS NEXT CONCERT TO COME, simply fall in love by every of his songs...

 

a nice place to stay, driving 40km/hr at the subrub, so relax n peaceful.

 

my next visit to perth? not so soon i guess, something not great had happened on our last day! hauling n causing m to have sleepless nites... didnt really think, just that couldnt forget what had happened. waiting for this sucks feeling to fade... happy moments fly fast and a day of bad day = 1 week or more. (mind is so blank now, staring blindly at the screen.)

treasure N cherish what u have in hand

since after the "doc incident" both Taurus N m had drift part, had told her gf off too... (their actions had driven m crazy, very crazy n piss! no wonder they r couple) as pal, nothing much further m can help... nor m can tolerate further of her cold n sarcastic wordssss... as days, months n years past, we no longer having similar thots n agreements... thou we are inhaling the same type of air, under same the moon n sun, looking at same things but at different angles n leading our own life now n future. will m lose this PAL? yesss, if we have more "such nonsense", well leave it to fate. we will still care for each other, "when this day comes". be it is ex or pal, m care for everyone around m, wanna them to stay healthy n happy, guess this doesn't only apply to m, but to everyone, as well as SR n her ex.

*hush words hurt, what about sarcastic words? driving ones away, n turn people OFF!

*pls do remember, no such thing is just let it be or ignore things around.... running away from reality, isn't a right choice! how many time can u actually escape? learn to acknowledge from ur mistake, be a better person...

*when u r tired, find a right shoulder to lean. (thats doesnt mean we r weak)

*TODAY u may be TOP OF THE WORLD, but u may not tomorrow.

*EVERYONE deserves unlimited love from their love one n family, so do u n m!

time to pull myself out the tomb

action speaksssss, hence back to curve, starting this week...

 

a lot things in my mind these dayssss. happy n unhappy, like n dislike, upset too (喜怒哀乐 all in) this is also part of the reason m stop blogging. m don't wish to talk about it how, what n when it happened... hopefully this will be the last time m bottled it up. leave everything to fate? NOOOOOOOO! TODAY M, NO LONGER YESTERDAY... shall fight for thing which is WORTH! m no longer young, time to kick m ass off from "THE WORMYYY DREAMING TOMBBBBB!!!" there are so much thing m wanna do.... today is 28 July, Dec is coming soon.. shall c what can m achieve till the last day of 2010...

 

many many people think m living a very good life now, so am I... buttttttt.... there's seem always a "BUT" m not a contented person? whenever people say THIS, m will only smile or laughhh, yes is LAUGH OUT LOUD! Indeed m a very fortunate gal since young, till today! i get what i wanna, but there's something m CANNOT n NEVER GET, NOR IT LAST.... maybe I'm a greedy woman.... who else in this world isn't greedy? different people hunting different prey... no??? is a matter u daring enough to hunt for it... n some switch their target on the way (good or bad?) hahaha... is this called FLEXIBLE? maybe... no point do for the sake of doing (do from the bottom of your heart.) ask for the sake of asking (knowing its lies, stop asking!) move on..... play all we can, n live to our fullest. ignore those liars whom hurt us again n again...

learning to be a generous GF

last Thursday (27th May 2010) m was in bad mood, remember??? in fact my had written n removed this short paragraph before posting, <<< think m not generous enough... esp whenever she mention about "THEIR HISTORY" this time is about thou they not staying together, yet don't mean they had SEXLESS RS! mmm... m problem again??? m don't know, nor wish to continue to talk about this.... >>>

 

had a chat with Taurus days back n realised how horrible her current gf, DELIA is... she had deleted everything of me from Taurus... meaning? delete my blog address, mobile no, msn (she even secretly blocked n deleted m while using Taurus's msn acc) see, what kind of gal is Taurus dating??? m had no comment on this gal whom always calls people "A LOSER" n pray to god every now n then! checking on one's thing is bad enough, but after checking, delete like as if her own "STUFF" is SHIT!

 

had also realised that why whenever SR mention about her ex, J, m so unhappy n uncomfy... properly because of past incident... from then onwards, kinda sensitive towards THIS PERSON!!! maybe same goes to D, thus she dislikes m so much and deleted every single contact of m from Taurus mobile n pc...

 

after looking at D's action, m looked at myself in the mirror... am i a loser too??? both of us r not generous people in love life, but m will not go to the EXTREME LIKE WHAT D HAD DONE, that is for SURE!

 

we aren't as close as before, since when??? mmm... both were busy with our work... m a person whom needs alot love, care, concern n attention...

stages of life...

M said that had forgiven her, but m couldn't forget what she had done lately!  Meaning? Have m really forgiven her? thot m did, but m action doesn't seem show... Forcing myself not to think, thot m did it, but A CALL from DEVIL will simply ruin m day N remind m of unhappy momentsss... How to due with this feeling... So tired N sick!!! Especially betrayed by your close one... How come will m have such feeling? Mmm... Is it important to always ask HOW, WHY N WHAT??? From the moment one choose to betray or cheat on u, guess no point asking them further WHY, WHAT N HOW...  DR J said : If choose to forgive, must make sure u can let go N not to bring up this matter again...Talk is cheap.... How many people can actually do it??? So can u N m! when will this end, before m go haywire once again...

 

M very much wanna give up at timesss... But m didn't N canttttt, because m can't afford to lose her... She brought m to this earth... Giving m brain to think, eyes to see, heart to feel, lung to breath N limbs to move... She used to be my best friend N dearest, but now??? m unsure...

our happy moments had non stop racing past my mind the whole evening, these memories reminded m how forgiving she used to be, even till today, she is still so kind hearted... m felt shame of myself... well, is this called stages of life?

monsoon had just over...

something had happened... seem not my weeks... beside knowing m heart very pain, head very heavy, no mood for anything, neither m know where N how to start...

 

mmm... human make love... pregnant... child is born... raising the child from young... correct N guide him/her from wrong to right... 1/3 of their time had spent to their child... everything is FATED! fated to meet someone u love n like, fated to be a family, fated to be siblings, fated to be the child of someone N so on...

 

in general, humans are selfish, of course there are different levels of selfishness N which angle u are looking at... seem rarely human wanna learn from easy (simple life, bored ones)... which is true, who doesn't love to experience excitement, thrilling, adventurous, challenging N so on.... whatever it is done, so long your action doesn't hurt ones, m think is fine...

 

or should m say temptations are everywhere, how many people can actually get away from this SHIT?

 

QUESTON : What  is tempation???

 

ANSWER : What you believe will come true because you will subconsciously and consciously act in ways that cause the event to happen. Self fulfilling prophecies are powerful, NO?

 

Resisting temptation & Giving in to your weakness 

Resisting temptation is one of the hardest things in life. Giving in to temptation is easy as ABC, especially when you've developed a habit of succumbing to your weakness. The payoff in following your vice varies from temporary fulfillment to another satisfying step towards self-destruction.

 

Human's feeling

Human's feeling is "delicate" , no? it needs TLC (tender loving care)hahaha... "TLC" reminds m of capri N SR ;)

 

rubbish words m not going to further add... thou m stil feeling blue, but m believe, so long m DONT GIVE UP N KEEP TRYING... THIS SUCKSSSS FEELING WILL BE GONE! IT JUST A MATTER OF TIME...

 

 

life is jus like a piece of blank paper

last week wasn't my week.

 

let start from Friday, met Taurus N cheater chan at PP. instinct told m that Taurus was hiding something away from m again, indeed! well, at the same time, m had kinda ruined D's day too... m guessed! dunno why m had chosen to believe with D's words than HERS! after all these months past, m realised that there's a distance between Taurus n M, or should m say from the day "the Wii incident happened", we no longer as close! today's happening, not just cheater chan's fault, but TAURUS! she had changed! change to a person whom neither u n m know her... she's a person whom m gave her my full trust before, but.... *cold smile* what ever it is, life is hers. what we had done for each other was enough.

(what happened today n future, is Taurus, herself allowing cheater chan to destroy, GOOD LUCK, MY DEAREST CAN.)

LIFE IS JUST LIKE A PIECE OF BLANK PAPER, ITS UP TO US TO PAINT OR DESTROY IT WITH COLORS!!!

 

 

both parties fault

something terrible had happened nights ago... this was m 1st time BLOW at thing one. m was very shocked of her action N intention, next tons ?!?!?!?! start to fall on m...  (from the moment she knew the reason m hurt, she was forgiven, but m just couldn't forget, therefor leading m so unhappy these two days...) thou thing one did not cheat nor do anything bad on m, but intention of telling m a lie is COOL enough to abuse my trust... similar nonsenses used to happen in past N made m hate surprises!!!

 

talking is the cheapest, agree? e.g <<forgive N forget>> its free N easy to say, only when the needle had pierced deeply into your skin, then u will know how painful it gonna be...

 

come to think about it, in a relationship communication is very important. these couples of months m had failed to do so (m only listen to things which m wanna hear, thus disaster occurred) when there's an action N it will follow by a reaction - this happen all the time in life... when things happened, m shouldn't put all the blame on her, nor should m keep hauling her with thousands of WHY, WHAT N HOW...

(((all these... will never help us to solve our problem, but to hurt each other deeper, as well as leading everyone to be unhappy.)))

 

 

 

MANY MANY OF I DONT WANNA

feeling very frustrated N blue all of the sudden... was very grouchy these weeks... feeling very disturb by "one", i don't know this person, nor see her before, yet her name N her stuffs seem revolving around m once in awhile recent months. had several nightmares about her during my recent trip... to be honest, m didn't think about her (why would N should m think of her during my trip, unless m NUTS), and don't know why her soul seem hauling m muchhh... how long will this last N can m take it? don't know, really blankkkk....

2 weeks of US trip, m back nearly a week, total 3 weeks, seem none of the day m can sleep well, really due to jet lag or there are some hidden unknown reason behind? m had ignored, but realised that m cannot! thou she simply has no THREAT towards m, but just hate the feeling of been....

I DONT WANNA MY NAME TO BE CALLED WRONGLYYYYYYY AGAIN N AGAIN!

I DONT WANNA TO NOE ANYTHING ABOUT HER!

I DONT WANNA DREAM ABOUT HER!

THERE'S MANY MANY OF I DONT WANNA, I DONT KNOW WHAT CAN I WANA AT THIS POINT OF TIME! LAST I DONT KNOW WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO MYSELF!

A tiring FUN weekend

how m spend m last weekend??? a tiring weekend, but FUN! thot there was "something" upset m during SAT, but....  that moment m really felt OFFENDED! whats the thing that upset m so much : once again, SHE called my name WRONGLY again! hahaha... what a joke, no? m trying very hard to ignore, thot m did, but... SUN morning when m woke up, m felt blueee... maybe m petty... dunno... anyway its over, don't wish to talk N think over unhappy stuff.....

 

minus that unhappy incident, everything was great, we had a wonderful family day at sentosa! after this outing, meimei N m get closer...  ;) m love N enjoy chatting with kids, as their innocent N naive questions can really melt/str8en m thots sometime...

 

a silly joke to share: brought m dad to Starbucks for coffee after jap BBQ lunch on Sunday... blur blur of m bought him a cup of espresso, he said that he wanna his coffee  with sugar...  m added sugar syrup in his espresso instead.. hahahaha... his expression when the moment he sipped in the espresso, his look, its deeply engraved in my mind.... hahahaha... he said that he had never drunk such awful coffee before... lolzzz.. m very certain, if u are there that moment, m sure u too will lolz...

 

 

a clearer wednesday!

today weather was so sunny... really stop m from doing anything, this not an excuse but the FACTS! ;p

princess gonna discharge this afternoon.

before checking my email, still felt little bad of what m had done this morning ( m a very simple gal, HATE LIARS, happy N unhappy, everything will be shown on m face, by hearing m voice or from m writing also able to tell... was sharing some joys during m Paris trip with Taurus this moring, after she visiting m blog, her voice sounded uncomfy or maybe m over sensitive...) m received a weird ecard from Taurus to her most current ex today. lolz... properly some error, ecard had sent to a wrong person, never expect that m viewed that ecard N realised that she has been lying to m.... well all these are her personal life, then again it let m have a clearer view of Taurus or maybe that's just her all along, unclear of what she wanna in life... m start to have doubt with this person N things she had said... well all these no longer important... most important is she found her TRUE LOVE!

( this for sure not my blessing, as m can never FORESEE THEY WILL HAVE ANY FUTURE! ESP THE ONE WHOM U LOVE ARE SLEEPING N HAVING FUN WITH ANOTHER MAN EVERY NIGHT + ALWAYS HAVE PACKS OF LIES...)

yawnzzzz.... very sleepy, properly m had overworked.. after this weekend, can rest all m wana ;) mmm... planning to rest for a week. a solid week of not doing anything, but just eat, sleep, watch tv, bloging, have fun with m sweet sweet SR N family :) after that doing searching for our USA TRIP! princess N her hubby maybe joining us too... m believe four of us gona have a great FUN travelling together!

mood swing again!

alot of things m seem wish do, yet nothing m wanna do now.. neither m know the reason...

every once in a while, m will become like that... had a very short chat with Taurus, she lectured m... 1st time she said that m a useless piece of shit! tears nearly rolled down from m eyes... m heart sank N shocked that this sentence out from her mouth saying m was a useless piece of shit!!! really time to do SOUL SEARCHING! years after years, regardless so many unhappy stuffs had happened, m still find myself very fortunate, even till today...NO? yes, m very fortunate, as compare to those poor African N Taiwanese in the disaster...

how to build up m motivation? m seem like a hermit crab now... always m N m tomb! :(

balance my time!

while checking email yesterday, m realised Capri had deleted m from her tag as her friend...feeling blue after knowing this, there are a few ??? in my mind which wanna ask her, then again shall leave her alone... even if we really have chance to chat again, neither m will bring this unhappy matter up.

beside Capri, m also rather upset by Taurus this morning, again because of minor stuff... m told her many times, but she always claims that m afraid SR will be angry or m busy dating SR, N so on... which isn't what she think, because Taurus m nearly had a fight with SR, and had ignored SR's feeling... m was very sad N vexed at that period of time... no one knew about it... was so vexed till didn't even wanna see anyone, nor could concentrate during work. of coz at that time not only just Taurus's issue, as well as SR N her ex stuff.... but luckily m had Chloe to keep m accompany, she made m realised that how weak N useless i was, as a child, she is so much stronger then any adult whom m know.... all these were history, m really don't wish to dig out again... and causing myself so miserable... and last m wanna tell Taurus something is, m have never changed since after broke off, neither m afraid of SR. SR is my partner now, I RESPECT HER N there's still room for m to improve to be a GOOD GIRLFRIEND N GOOD WIFEY...

after talking Taurus, m switch on my PC, msn a long distance pal, glen, a pal whom m used to love... ;p well of coz till now m still love him, but the 'love' has changed to "friendship love"... he is also another friend whom think m had always spend too much time with my partner,whenever m dating...lol... mmmmm... really hard to pls everyone in the world... whatever it is, m will try to make time for everyone around, of coz my love one N my family are at my 1st priority! :)

SR's dad birthday

 what a big beautiful cake :)

today is SR's dad birthday, went shopping with him after lunch.... everything was fine till evening.... during dinner... while we were playing iphone game with boy boy N gal gal, suddenly m heard SR telling boy boy "CHE CHE JAN's" turn to play... the "CHE CHE JAN" REFERRING M???? THOT M IS "CHE CHE JOEY"?????? m turned off instantly N ignore them, nor wanna carry on the game, but 2nd thot came to my mind, m told myself "maybe m heard wrongly..." N NEXT MOMENT AGAIN M HEARD HER M AS CHE CHE JAN "quickly return iPhone to CHE CHE JAN, SHE'S ANGRY" M KNEW SHE WAS TEASING BOY BOY...BUT M THINKING NEITHER SHE KNEW SHE HAD CALLED THE WRONG NAME...m refused to speak to her after that.. m too petty? m dunno, m couldn't take it, neither m wana blew it big, at the end of the day seem no big deal...

26 Aug to 29 Aug 2009

honey bun is on business trip since yesterday again... little upset... gonna miss her 3 nights...

26 Aug 2009

had chat with Taurus lately.. m felt upset after the chat... she became more N more enclose herself after broke off with J. maybe partly also m... these few days m been thinking several questions... how should m put into words... no result issue shall skip... <<<benediction is a form of love...>>> m really hope Taurus able to stand up soon... m hate to see her in such a stage...

27 Aug 2009

suddenly some disturbing thots race past my mind... led m to read what i had written N write out m feelings... m felt that Taurus is a mirror of m... yes? no? m dunno, neither wanna know.... m in vexed now, don't wanna talk anything deeper....

difference between Taurus N m : she likes to ask something which she cant handle and m NEVER WANNA KNOW ANYTHING WHICH M CANT HANDLE...

both similarity : both run away from REALITY WHEN WE COULDN'T HANDLE... DUNNO EVER SINCE WHEN M BECOME A HERMIT CRAB...

after chatting with Gemini, she suggested m should be more independent... m ignored her at the beginning... but hours later, m agreed, m also realise that m had no goal in life now... what if one day " we are not together...?" m dunno if m will fall greatly.... m really dunno if m able to stand up again... maybe m will... yesss m will... life goes on when whoever is gone... just a matter of time to heal the wound...

SR is back tomorrow... m happy? m dunno... just know that m miss her!

28 Aug 2009

m feeling unwell today, couldn't even complete 4 hours of job... m spoke to Taurus before picking SR... she knew m was grouchy... be it happy or unhappy, every single emotion is hang on m face... conclusion : both Taurus N SR think that m jealous over "SR's ex" while on my way to pick her, m heart feeling so heavy... neither m know how to describe this feeling.

m hugged her tightly when i saw her! whatsoever nonsense is no longer important, nor wanna think about it, just wanna continue m journey her as long as m can...m will not give up this relationship because of whoever...

Weekends

had a solid rest N so much FUN during these two days, beside the rash med which caused m unable to go work on Sunday... we had BBQ dinner, nini N SR BBQ, m eat ;p this was my 2nd time eating WAGYU BEEF N my 1st time eating BABY LAMB! M MISS THE TEXTURE OF THOSE MEATS ;p

12th - 14th aug

Sunday
m just back from manila not long...didn't blog daily nowadays...neither all things m can remember... beside the food poisoning, everything in manila was great... m believe if Taurus read today blog she will come out with all "stupid words" which will upset m...to her its nothing,she didn't mean anything, but to m may sounded "uncomfy", maybe m a gal whom has no sense of humor... lousy SUNDAY HAPPENING!

It happened just because of her GF was around n TAURUS wanna my wii controller, thot that piece of controller wasn't mine, but when Taurus bought m wii, she bought m THE WHOLE SET, she knew everything m wanna WHOLE FULL SET! since she so damn rich can buy a brand new wii, simply don't understand why cant she buy another controller... thou i did ever mention, she may have those game which m not playing back... but isn't when u wanna go people home to take things, N just go at once! also must see if people free to entertain u...no?? m felt Taurus doesn't know how to respect m.this is Taurus, always wanna make m go INSANE, then she will realise N understand what m wanna N how m feel.... " that part of the reason, we ENDED! " TODAY WAS THE UGLIEST DAY out of these 4 years we "chat" is not that she had tolerated m for 4years N today was her 1st day blew up... its BECAUSE HER GF WAS THERE, HER MIND N HEART HAD BEEN BEWITCHED BY BITCHHHHH.....
"excuse my wording, then again this is m blog, m can write anything if m wana..."
this was also SR 1st see m cried so bitterly N super UPSET... she mus be heart aching...
*no worry, SR, m a strong gal, will never give up thing easily N will not let other to bully myself again... :)

Monday
a peaceful morning... till noon packed some Taurus's stuff... early evening she came to collect... this time m felt her face so hateful... at time moment, no one has good words out from mouth, esp m! i didn't wana bother she meant well or try to make her feel better... m really sick of think 4 her thots N feeling... time to be devil now... lolz...
m cried bitterly after returning her some of the stuff... partly because m hate myself 4 been so stupiddddd.... m don't know what could m actually to do make her N myself happier after the rs...

m heart was terribly HURT by Taurus these days after the rs... there were several reasons for m to reject her of coming over yesterday was afraid she mess up my room,m having runny nose again, my room is dirty, afraid her skin may worsen " she need a very clean environment ", MAINLY WAS SHE SPOKE SHITTY TO M WHILE HER GF WAS AROUND, SO WHY SHOULD M GAVE INNNNN...

whatever it is, its time to come to an ended... moreover both of us had found our the other half... taking care of Taurus job has come to an end... she has someone to take care now, need not m to worry anymore... overall tarus is a very kind person, but i think she really need to built up more of confident, open herself to people... or maybe know more friends... she will always in my mind...
its time 4 m to move on N do something else... what can m do? haha...m know if princess read this sure scold m... as she hate m having no direction...always wanna others to plan things for m to move on... mmm... but this is just m, esp these days... thanks god that m have SR at m side... SR motivates m to move on... thou life is never perfect, BUT LIFE CAN ALWAYS BE WONDERFUL...

Tuesday
don't why maybe m woke up from the wrong side of the bed... or m still brood over Taurus's incident... mmm...m need sometime to digest... come to this...m not a fexi person.... but something really surprise m, Taurus found m blogging... she read! she told m that she was glad that m happily in love with my gf now...
anyway m went crazy shopping today again... bought SR's birthday present, thou her birthday is on Sep... her 1st birthday present from m... she looked really cool with that bag on :) theres still more surprises coming up for her.... shhhh... cant review much not... its a surprise :)
Tonite SR asked m about my next destination in mind, she will bring m go... mmm... i will follow her, follow wherever she wana bring m to... m love towards SR is deeper as days past...

22nd to 25th june 2009

Monday
after bringing mum doctor went lunch with princess...m had made her angry by endless complaining the stupid waitress.... m hateeeee having lunch in Chinese restaurant, esp ever since m went hk! tim sum in sg is sucks N X!
sent mum home after lunch..we went out again to buy med containers from muji, then ahead home to rest... SR tugged m to nap, thou just an hour nap, but seem m had slept quite awhile...as usual..m refused to wake up...sleeping in her arms, feeling just so great...
no choice but to wake up as having dinner with family... gal gal baked m choco cupcakes... so sweet of her huh? thank you gal gal *hug hug + kiss kiss*
m dislike this moment... SR sent home home N ahead to airport... m seem too sticky...i dunno... am i???

SR asked N told m something weird this afternoon... she asked if she had occupied too much of my time... if m need sometime...just let her know... well not very comfy when she asked m this... but on the other hand m understand what she meant.... everything is ok to m now... unless she thinks that she had spend too much with m, N has no much free time for herself N her stuffs.... m hope she can tell m... m will understand....

anyway m tried to sleep as soon as m could after SR's plane took off....dun wanna think muchhhh...anyway going jb with Taurus tomorrow...

Tuesday
while going work m had a great fall in fornt of the lift...elbow n ankles were hurt... no choice but to slowly stand up by myself... m nearly cried... m miss SR very much.....
as usual, eat liked no tomorrow N shopped till dropped in jb... m can see changes in Taurus... but just cant really describe... m hope she will change to be a better person after m.... m love the "luk luk" dinner very much... while eating that m thot of time we had spent in HK 2007! time really fliess... missing someone really bad...hate this feeling.. N time seem goes on so slowly...

Wednesday...
what an lucky day m had today...went for two tut...both also couldn't make it... Chloe is the worst gal whom i have even seen... she is totally an irresponsible gal... i don't blame her at times, all is the parents fault... leading such a smart gal to become like that... she is just like a zombie now... how can i help her???
m nap awhile....whole day wasn't that great... m felt so lonely... what princess said is true.. m just like a little kid... always wanna have full attention...
m will think of a lot thing each x when m slow down the pace... esp when m alone... m wept... at this moment, m felt bad... esp after m read thru m sunshine's blog all over again... m felt m a heartless N selfish freak... didn't mention much about Taurus, before N after broke up... sometime m wanna ring Taurus, but m don't dare...

had a short chat with SR today... m made her heart beat fast again... ;p cant wait to see my silly cas!
ooopppsss!!!she knows that m sleep late tonite... just had e indian doc med.... will try to catch some sleep...

beautiful wednesday

m woke up from the alright side of the bed again...but morning still having gastric while on the way to have bf with my beloved SR. esp when she told m "later going doctor" m gastric instant worsen.... goshhh...so freak pain.. pain till m cant eat my noodles...whole body seem not mine, just so stiff "became a ice gal"- hard n with cold sweat.. indeed m very scare of seeing "THAT DOCTOR" today while he was "DOING", m screamingggggggg... everyone seem laughing...so embarrassing...
SR said each time visit that doc,m can buy one bag... gosh i think she trying kick of m buying bag hobby....NO?HAHA... nah... i dun think my SR so mean....

Finally have the chance to eat " chin mei chin's Halloween Bun" a fruit bun, which i love it... coffee shop is small, with not many customers, yet still need to wait for quite awhile before served...N with poor attitude

Princess Gemini finally buzz m on msn, out of these few months, today m the happiest... AS I HAVE PRINCESS n SR's attention, love, care, concern N yang ... before princess buzz m, m also happy, but not as happy as today... i guess if one day, SR turns cold to m, but princess still love m as much as before, m will also react like past day, grouchy N blue... all m can say is m life cant LIVE without BOTH PRINCESS N SR now...both r m everything now... :)

just read a good pal email... "Dan" she told m that she was sad.. hahaha... guess what... she upset because after reading m blog, she realise that m didn't mention about her ringing m on the weekend, while m having lunch with SR... silly of her...m had never forgotten about her, just that day m was terrible down N unwell...

m write almost everyday... but still seem have so much of m thots N feeling have not really express them out yet....no? hahaha...i duno...m just know that i will CHERISH N TREASURE MY PRINCESS N SR as long as m still breathing...N of coz everyone around m, family N pals... I LOVE U, GUYS...